February 8, 2017

The Essence of Change

That new year smell...

So, it's the new year, 2017, and things have been different. I've noticed that that idea of different has been the theme of a lot of people's lives. We have a new president that not many had anticipated would be elected and that is just the bigger most popular realization of this year of change. I think in a lot of many different ways change has started to occur for each individual. But over all, it seems that there has been a turning-of-the-page on a global scale. As far as myself well, that's looking further into the pieces of the puzzle.

It seems the shadows of last year have come to remind me of past mistakes and decisions. It's the oddest thing in the world. It's the feeling that time is like DNA, all scrunched into an organized ball for each timeline and my beginning of the year for last year is playing out just beyond the realm of what I can see but I can sense it so well that memories from the time are conjured up so quickly. It is interesting though, because there is so much about this beginning that is extremely different.

For one: I never thought that i would open up an Etsy shop and start selling my handmade goods. That was the farthest thing from my mind at the beginning of last year. Another thing is that I'll be turning 21 soon. It's that infamous age where the true recklessness of a person is decided and the most vulnerable situations can occur, if you let them, that is. I have never been a party gal, so my birthday is going to be comprised of pizza, thrift stores, and ice cream with the girls; simple sweet pleasures that are sincere.

As I grow older and see how people can be, I just want to live my life in the best way possible, learn, and be happy. There is so much to get really bitter and angry about in this world, and it's sad because that can consume a person. There is this drive I see in others o force this type of grandiose intense change in the world that will instantly benefit the world. But it doesn't work that way. It never has, From the studying that i have done, going from one extreme to another doesn't harbor the type of results originally desired. It takes serious time and work to do it right. It may be slow but, you know what, everyone is in such a rush now a days that they forget that they need to actually see what they are doing. Time waits for no man, but time is a powerful thing and if you flow with it instead of trying to make it bend to your will, you will see some positive results not originally anticipated.

So, my advice is to go at your own pace, and see what happens. We all have plans but there is something greater that decides whether or not those plans pan out. Chance some would call it, but either way, there are too many uncontrollable variables in this world and instead of trying to control it, try working with it. You never know, it may be more fruitful than trying to force your life.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

December 10, 2016

Tis The Season For Reflecting

It seems, for me, this happens naturally... literally to the point where I take a confused pause and think to myself, why am I in the past right now? It is only after I take a look at the calendar that I have that "oh sh*t" moment and continue on with my nostalgia. This year, however, it seems to not just be a rundown of 2016, but of points in my younger years that I had quite thought I'd forgotten. It is even down to the smells and sensations of the past echoing in my reverie so clearly that it boggles me that I am where I am. It's much like my younger self is taking a gander at the future. How odd that feels, especially when here is where I wanted to be most when I was younger and who I am today is what my aspirations were. I do plan on bettering myself, but it is interesting to see that I have come this far. And in all honesty, there is no way I am going to stop now. :)

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

November 21, 2016

Trudge On

Things, for me, tend to loose their luster if I give to a habitual, un-diverse way of doing them. I am a complete hobby girl. I love to do multiple things because they make me happy. However, the usual indulgence of my hobbies is done in such a way that i partake in said hobby to exhaustion, until even I don't want to look at the stuff for a few months. This made progressing in a hobby very slow and would often times put me in a state of stagnancy. That is when things really get bad because I become restless, and no body wants to deal with a restless Mary.

On a brighter tone, there is a way to keep one from getting lost in the monotony of the same shit different day. Being sporadic and having diversity in your daily routine can help keep you from that monotonous state, but we are going to go deeper.

In life, people stay in their little habitual bubbles for too long and it becomes their little comfort zone. With this, depending on the habit, the need to gain becomes greater and greater with every achievement until what is truly important in life is lost to the sight. A common example is that idea of a father who is too busy at work to even try to get to know his kids and before he knows it, they are older and gone:

The second saddest thing, I have to say, is when a person is stagnant but doesn't realize it. They keep doing the same things over and over and harder and harder but when it makes no different. The saddest has to be when a person doesn't care that they are stuck in their ways without change. Change is a necessary part of life and the sooner one comes to terms with that, the sooner they can get on with their life in a healthier way.

Now the very beautiful thing about Life is that whether you recognize it or not, it's gonna make that change happen one way or another, and you will be pulled out of that comfort zone like a bot fly. It happens when it needs to, when your opportunity to realize it yourself has been passed up a number of times. I have felt that sting and as much as those moments growing up sucked, I'm better for it and I can recognize that. What has helped, I have to say, is having an understanding of myself and a spiritual foundation built form a relationship with the creator. That last bit, of course, varies from person to person, and some don't even think of that stuff because they get too wrapped up in life, but hey, it's up to them. It is always wise to seek living in a healthier way, emotionally, physically, and for people who realize this necessity like me, spiritually.

This life is not forever, and the material things change over time. Nobody knows what will come of death, until they die, but I would urge anyone to try and life a life where they are making advancements that are deeper emotionally, in understanding, and in knowledge, as apposed to staking your mark in this world on something that can easily be swept away with a rouge wave.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

November 13, 2016

New Site, Same Blog

So, I have transferred all my posts from WordPress to Blogger... as any one could see, there are a few reasons why. For one, I want to be able to reach more people through my blog and you couldn't do that with WordPress as well. Well there is a lot that Blogger has to offer that WordPress doesn't. However, the only thing that has changed is the the domain and the look. The content will stay the same an I hope you all still come by to read some thought, musings, poems, prose, and what ever I can muster to share with the world. For those ho have supported me on all my social media platforms, thank you so much an I hope you continue. For those yet to, I welcome you to be challenged, and, hopefully, inspired.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

November 2, 2016

Only Time

One thing I have noticed while going through this wild ride of not only life, but shaping myself as a writer, is that there is nothing that happens right away. There is no speedy acquisition of the skills that one learns to reach a certain goal. Why is that? Well, it takes us time to understand everything that we want to do and we must learn a way to properly go about doing it. Yes, we build tools and make our own discoveries along the way, but it takes time to build those tools and understandings. So, of course, we aren't gonna get there over night.

Believe me, I have suffered the disappointment of not being at the center of my goal when I wanted so bad to be. We have been bread into a society that as instant gratification at the top of it's list for Mundane Emotional Drug Fixes. The faster something we want comes our way, the quicker we want it to come, quicker and quicker until we loose the sense of what it means to actually build an appreciation for what we desire through work and an effort to understand. So that is the pain, that is the withdrawal. And we are forced to still ourselves and do what we should have started off doing in the first place, giving ourselves time to get there.

Mind you, this time given, is not time wasted in basic goof-off-ery, if so, than the problem is deeper than expected. We also do not "give ourselves time" by racking our selves with mindless work that leaves us exhausted and delirious at the end of every day in hopes that we can reach that goal quicker. That is not how it works. Yes it's about balance and sincere effort, not waiting for something to happen. You must take the necessary steps to make it happen and it will in it's own time, however, if there is just the desire to sit and wait for a golden ticket to manifest in your hand, there is no effort there. When there is that rue effort driving you, don't expect to get it all at once. You'll seriously just disappoint yourself.

This brings us to the moments that we assume a moment of failure, but don't be decieved, it isn't failure, it's learning. When we go forth and make a mistake on the road to our goal, it shows us what we didn't know, what we did know, and how it can be done differently, that's all. The only true failure is when we completely give up and decide to no longer pursue a venture that had our hearts singing for. It is best to always try for your goal than try to live with the regret of never continuing. There is always an opportunity to start something that will make you happy beyond words. So take that choice and run with it, and always follow your heart, and when i say that i don't mean follow your organ in your chest.No, i mean that feeling, that inner intuition, the same one that tells you what is right and what is wrong. That is your source of truth that is connected to something higher than physical desire. It will always guide you.

Asong that seems to pop up every time I get impatient:


One of my favorite reminders.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

September 22, 2016

White Haze

Covered in a white dream like haze,

Why are dreams so sweet?

Is it the diversity that brings,

To our tattered minds the new ideas?

Is it the great swell of sight,

That unfolds before our very eyes?

Is it the contact with another worlds,

That scientists have chalked up to,

Chemicals and neurons?

And why do we long to go back,

When some of the dreams,

Are worse than the very life we live?
It's safe that's why,

You can come back,

You can feel just enough,

To make an imprint on your mind,

Real enough to be a memory,

But not true enough to leave,

The marks of physical scars.
It 's the white haze that keeps you,

In a cocoon  of separation.

Every now and again,

That cocoon  drops and we are privy,

To what we know,

As a nightmare,

A terror of the night,

But what is scary about a nightmare?
The blood,

The monster,

The fear gripping your chest,

Of the reality of it all,

The very reality you are faced with,

The reality of recognizing,

Your mortality.
(Have you ever had a dream just stick with you, like that very atmosphere was carried over to your wakeful self?)

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

September 21, 2016

The Ultimate Aknowledgement

A secret call,
A silent whisper,

Reverberating through the consciousness.

Not a dream but a beautiful truth,

Reality brought forth to the forefront of the mind.


Where the sensation of color,

Is always attainable,

This call you feel yourself answer,

Against your rational mind,

Your rigid mind,

Your caged spirit.


All it took was a smile,

A blink of awareness,

As this call called you,

You looked at it, you felt it,

And it felt you.


What is it,

This feeling of complete truth,

This feeling of love that enraptures you,

This feeling of connection,

That envelopes you in open arms,

Of warmth and a pure kind of love?


(Feeling quite poetic today, there is something about this overcast that fills me with the unspoken words of my heart, these words that the day-to-day would have me abandon. Not Today)

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~