September 26, 2015

The Little Things

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     I never really understood the phrase, "enjoy the little things", until I got older. It struck me one day when I was attempting to wake up one morning and was trudging to the coffee machine. I then did the sugar in the cup first and a little cinnamon before pouring the brew into it. My hands cupped around the porcelain art peace, feeling the immense warmth, as I went in for a sip of life. Right as the brew it my tongue, warmth instantly started to release my cheeks from the bite of the cold air around. When it made its way down my throat and on the path to my stomach, I gave to a chill that moved like a cozy wave washing over me, freeing me from the constrains of the cold that I rigidly trembled about in.
      What an amazing thing that is. I cherished that cup until nothing was left but the prospect of enduring a second cup that I knew would be half the man its predecessor was. I enjoyed that cup of heavenly brew like it was my first, last, and more. It was a joy that made my day so much better. The weight of what needed to be done stayed the same, but I felt like I could take it on with no back pains. Just a small thing like that and love seemed like it was worth living again.
     Drama aside, I'm not casting a coffee ad into the world in hopes that people will experience what I have, no. That is but a mere example of what little things are. They are those pleasures that are seemingly Innocent and beautifully simple. It's that morning brunch you have with your friend where you two don't talk so much but just enjoy the company as one sips robust green tea, reading the paper as you stick with the java enjoying a book. The little things you enjoy, like every morning when you come into work, you take a piece of candy even though it is meant for customers; so, you take that one piece to tide you over until your bound to enjoy another at lunch.
     These little joys hold so much more of an impact. They are the things that keep you sane when your life is throwing you bits of insanity for you to try and make sense of. They, that infamous they, say that you should appreciate life a bit more, but to be honest, it gets hard to see the good and pull happiness out of it when the struggle to get by is just too much at times. However, that's okay. If life wasn't hard, we would never grow, we would never push ourselves, and we certainly would never have learned to appreciate anything. So try this, a thing you have incorporated into your daily routine, that little thing, recognize the joy you feel when you do it, however small, and just carry that joy with you throughout the day until the next. Maybe you'll see how much it impacts your happiness.

     ~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

September 18, 2015

Changing For Others vs. Changing For Yourself

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     When someone tells you to change, it is ultimately up to you. They can't make that decision for you because they don't understand your perspective and understanding of yourself and the world that surrounds yourself.
     So here you are, at the crossroads of change. Your change requires you to follow a path, but how will you walk it? How will you see it? In one blink you can take that step for yourself in a manor that is everything readiness has ever been in a gant, but in another blink, you can take a step for the acceptance of another, walking in the way a person with endless sacks of expectations on their back would. Good intentions lay in each path, but you know that those can pave off course completely, if you make the wrong choice.

     It all boils down to the individual. Making a change in self to please yourself is a lot more satisfying than making that change for someone else, unless you are making that changed in their memory/honor. Your personal life changes should not be dictated by another's wishes.  Though advice is very useful,  it should never be something that is pushed. People will make that decision when they are ready. How that decision is made will determine their strength. We have this idea of what we are supposed to be like, but when we recognized what we are, the reality of own personal disabilities will come forward. We can live our lives being told every little change that needs to happen, but the magic part is when we see these problems for what they are and change based on our recognizing that there is a problem.  Once the recognition is up, we can see where our next move will be.
     People, all the time, tell each other what we need but when the time comes, we choose it for ourselves, not because they told us. I often look back on those moments and laugh because of how much they couldn't see that I couldn't recognise it for my self which is what needed to be done. When you face a person with a negative state of being, then associate it with them, and they don't see it, they will pull their mind as far away from it as humanly possible; so, when you tell a drug addict they are addicted, they deny it.
     Every now and then people need to fall on their faces. Sometimes we can take that advice, but others just need the cement imprint to shock them awake. That is when they gain the eyes to see that the change is needed. We have all been their. Either too stubborn, or just plain ignorance, our faces have forcefully graced the metaphoric concrete and we realize despite the force of impact, we can see all the clearer.

September 15, 2015

Clouds: Story Tellers of the Sky

What people don't really understand is that clouds move to the sway of our hearts, not the will of our minds. We can look up and see the stories we can't find in books acted out as shapes moving in an inevitable direction.

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We are presented with an inconceivable sight of something we may only be able to achieve in evolution of body, or mind. These are cold, water vapor masses that seem to be able to fly where as we just sit beneath watching as they pass.

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So our initial intentions are to reach them. We do this first by identifying what is readily available in height and complexity that we can relate to in some way. We reach for trees, as they seem to reach for the sky aswell. They stay in there spot and from the moment of birth, they are destined to rise to greet the skies with their sight, just as we look up when we want to gaze at the impossible, inconceivable, wonderful, powerful, beautiful unknowing.

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We can hear it from scientists, sky divers, experts, and every other person that thinks that can tackle the great unknown that sits like a blanket above our heads, waiting to tell a story that shines from our hearts, but when the wind is cool and the trees sing, in our hearts we know there is more than can ever be known by one about the sky above. We live to look up at the bodies of wonder. Perhaps they are the administers of lessons that we may look upon so that when we look upon the stars beyond them, we may begin to understand the shine of our hearts, seeing that we all are the beloved beauty we pursue already.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

All photos ©Mary Spotted-Eagle-Woman Roberts 2015

September 14, 2015

Hard Going Up & Easy Going Down

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          This thought came to me when I did my early morning walk with my walking partner. She said that it would have been better for our calf's if we had gone up the hill. This was stated while we were going down. This hit me. It is so easy to go down, to destroy, to give in, to make a muck of, but the hardest is to try with all of yourself no matter how hard things get. Trying doesn't mean your getting it right, nor is excellence expected. When you fail, its not because you tried. Failing means that you didn't try at all. When people get things wrong they think it's failure, but in all actuality, it is learning. We are all just learning, but the moment we refuse to try is the moment we have failed ourselves, the moment we have fallen and hit our heads.
          The Happy part of living, though, is that we can choose to not fail. Failure is a state of mind, achievement is recognition of your capabilities and the following through of such. Achieving doesn't mean you meet the expectations of some person beyond yourself, though. The best form achievement can take is that feeling that your not emotionally hitched to anything unhealthy, you feel grateful for what you have, and you are sitting down one morning with your cup of warm drink reaching for your reading material or hobby, feeling so content and happy with your life thus far. I have always seen this as a major achievement. Forget all the worries and follies of what you are not and take a look at what you have, what you are, and why.
          A good thing to recognize is that there are things beyond your control. However, once you recognize what you can, and if you should, then you can focus on where your heart wants you to go. I have always wanted what feels right to my heart, what feels like the sun rose, the stars aligned, and the wind blew for me to be here right now type of right. Now, of course, those things don't happen just for one person but who's to say it doesn't happen for all people? Who knows; maybe the sun rises, the stars align, and the wind blows for all people to get where they are supposed to be, even if we don't see it all the time.

          ~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

September 9, 2015

Stop, pause, take a look around...

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     Every now and then we need to stop for a small moment to still ourselves and take a look around. To pull yourself away from the stress of the world that made the stress of your thoughts, is an act of visualisation... I mean obviously; is it obvious?
     Our vision can literally be clouded by fears, stress, and anxiety so that we don't see what is right in front of us. It happens all the time when we forget that important thing for work, when we forget the keys in the car, when we forget to show up at a birthday party, but there is even more we loose sight of. When we start asking questions like 'why am I even here' and 'what is the point of this' and not answer them, we have just lost the ability to see things as they are.

     There were those moments all throughout highschool for me, when I would just take a moment lift my head up and hope I made eye contact with someone who was doing the same thing. As I got older I would pull away from my need for contact and make those moments my time to reevaluate my position in time right at that moment to see if I was happy, to feel if I was content with my life, and to see if there is anything I need to change for the better. These moment would also serve as a moment of peace so that I may pull myself from the stresses that only activated the feelings of anxiety. Doing this reminded me of my mission and why I chose to be in that situation, offering my mind peace, not from an outside source, but from myself. I knew then as I know and actively recognize now that, I can't control everything and its a miracle I've gotten as far as I have. This is not a comparison to any other's ideal of advancement and success, but me feeling the work I've done on myself and in life so far. It's those moments that make my mind feel at ease and remind myself I can do this.

     Moments taken up by a pause to create peace of mind, are so helpful when the moments come where you are feeling the sight of the world on your shoulders.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

September 7, 2015

In a perfect world...

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Senerio time!!!

So, your watching a lovely TV show, and every thing is so innocent and simple so a fraze floats in your head, "in a perfect world this would work." What do you do next? Do you think about what would happen of you existed in this world of perfection, where morals and compassionate respect for your fellow man is the very milk the world has been raised on? Or, on the negative side, do you sit and ponder on all the evil in this world and let that be the make-up of your perception? The choice is yours, but the biggest thing is to be able to step back from such thoughts and think of the good and bad that your life, your eyes, have witnessed, and ask yourself if you would give all that up for a perfect simple world where thoughts are just being developed with some depth.

These thoughts came to my mind as I watched My So-Called Life for the first time. The TV show is as old as I am, but I was curious on the nature of the show and the girth of the writing. At first I was rolling my eyes and scoffing at the over simplified lives these people were living. Their thoughts rarely dived deep enough... Or so I thought. I was amazed to find there were characters that were good-natured and innocent enough that keeps your attention. I found the show precious, even if the lives the actors and actresses led were not of such, it made me appreciate the simple moments of pure love and innocence. I spoke with my mom on the show and she informed me that it had been cut. I then explained that it was probably because it was aired during a time where they would not have appreciated it as much as I did. Of course, some people probably loved it, but it was clear that it wasn't edgy, riveting, or sexual enough to grab anyone's attention. If art was to imitate life, that sort of life was at a distinct end, so it can only be seen as naïve or something that resides in a perfect world provided by the Twilight Zone, because we all know its no where near that innocent and sweet. As peoples lives and generations have progressed, it seems we have either released all inhibitions, including morals, or have become hard hearted at the follies of the world and live lives of cynicism and sarcasm. Perhaps it would be ideal to break the bitter she'll, and appreciate things as they bar and remember we can make it better, but it could always be worse.

~Thoufghts of a Dreamer ~