December 27, 2015

My Beautiful Rose

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This is what comes from the thrift shop search. You find things that just reach out and answer that part of your soul. When you see it, it doesn't matter if it is brand new or made by famous hands; it's just beautiful and you don't want it to impress others, but to appreciate it for its very own simple beauty that reaches out and strikes a cord in your heart.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

December 18, 2015

To Love From A Distance

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An interesting concept I had to bring to a friend of mine's attention was to love from a distance. This does not mean a love for someone in long distance relationship, but to still have love for a person who broke your heart in one way or another.

I learned this at a younger age when I would see such beauty and heart in a boys, but the choices they were making were self destructive and it would break my heart. So, without bitterness, hate, spite, or mournful woe, I would carry this love in my heart and silently send secret prayers and good hopes for them. This of course was not for every boy with handsome face that I would see. Each boy that I felt this for had something about them that genuinely captured me in a pure state if awe. However, at the time of junior high, no other kids were concerned with such things; so naturally there was no one to share this experience with.

Fast forwarding to the future of my continuing this, it seemed that I had gained a knew understanding of the result of such an act of loving from a distance. I realized that after a while of me securing this type of love reserved only for those i had seen that awe and beauty within, it became second nature to just come back to a mindset of love when they would hurt me by hurting themselves, which would then, in an interesting way, turn into a form of healthy indifference.

Now when some thinks of indifference, they think of it in a hue if negativity born out of a desire to pull away from their torment that was caused by another. In this case this type of indifference isn't settled upon by going from love, to pain, to neutral/unfeeling, but going from love, to pain, to hope and best wishes because of that love, and then an acceptance of a state of neutral detachment that keeps the one who possesses that profound love from taking on the self-destructive patterns from the one they love.

Now if this understanding was applied to situations of heart break and that steady bitterness that makes it harder for a person to heal emotionally and to trust other people with their hearts was prevented from settling in, you would end up with people who are more loving, understanding, and more willing to put themselves out their in a more genuine, sincere way.

What society has in place today is a dysfunctional understanding of emotional healing that makes it so a person could go on for years trying to deal with their emotional trauma, if in fact they have a mind to do so. A lot of people are still vexed deeply about experiences in their past that when looked at, one could see the rickety foundation of ignorance in the emotionally traumatic situation. It is something that won't be taught because of the fact that it is so selfless and I something one needs to work at.

It is so easy to run from letting yourself feel anything beyond comfortable. We take risks by caring for others but these risks make for a better person, because it pushes the boundaries of what we would do for another and why. It pulls us from that selfish want of only self comfort and gets us to learn more about who we are and how we want to be. We also learn different ways to deal with those extreme emotions and that consume energy, so that they can be handled better in the future.

There are those of us who are good at the cold, basic needs for living that need to learn how to deal with the emotional side of living, as an emotional creature, as well. The reverse is also true. In equal parts these things should be acknowledged and nurtured, but the hard part is achieving both first before being able to pass the knowledge down so that there is some possibility for future change in people.

It is possible to make impacts and change the world, but the normal, detached ways to do this aren't enough; you have to have your heart in it to really make an impact either on one, few, many, or billions. Just be brave enough to feel.


~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

December 13, 2015

She Came In A Whisper

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Stillness is never still.
It is as loud as a whisper,
Reverberating through time and space.
"Peace," it states.
This is a comand.
The moment you hear it,
Is the moment you choose it,
The moment you accept it,
You become it.
And it becomes us because,
That whisper originated,
From the unity of Our Hearts.

December 9, 2015

Lady of Shalott

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Am I her,
The lady of Shalott?
Is my device the mirror,
From which I weave
Stories and yarn
Based on what I see?
Am I cursed to see,
The pale falsity,
Of shadows,
And will I be punished,
If I seek sincerity and truth,
From a world that is of
Shadows to my eyes?
Will my heart be stolen,
By the sight of a truly,
Beautiful man who,
Breathes sincerity,
And is a noble knight of truth?
Will the screen on,
My nextbook crack,
And all I have woven,
Turn blank as,
The raging winds,
Come to collapse me,
In my tower?
Am I destined to,
Float down the,
Stream of media,
To his phone,
Only to have him,
Find my accident,
A Damb Shame?

Or is it,
I am the spirit,
Of the Lady,
Who refuses to have,
Her story end,
The same?

Longing For A Storm

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I long for a storm. In the most ernest way, I would admire its passing with a freshly brewed cup of tea as I sit in the kitchen,looking out the window. My stormy clouds and myself. It is magic to my eyes and i am drawn to its splendor. The fault I morn is my human frailty that would prevent me from enrapturing myself in its elemental grace.
Oh sweet storm.
The monotonous stillness barley achieved by people who partake in it out of default, unless they are rowsed, brings a dry crease to my eyes. A cleansing is needed. We need the taste of nature to reconnect with. And I wish to fly amongst the rainy lightning haze as the masmatic tar of stagnancy melts from my feathers of freedom.

December 7, 2015

Waiting For Gold

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These moments,
The kids next door quarrel,
Some one scrapes outside,
It's cold but I'm burning,
My seat rests uncomfortable below me,
And evert ten minutes,
I sneeze.

But I sit,
In my room to meet,
The light of sundown,
As it dances gold
In the blue of my curtains,
Oh, the hue is magic.

Not heavy like a rock,
And not cold either,
The golden rays,
Dance playfully,
With the soft blue,
As if lovers.

Waiting in anticipation,
I smile because i know,
The true gold that everyone seeks,
Will forever be out of their reach,
Because they want to harness it,
Trap it, make it cold, and hard,
I feel honored just to be graced,
With the sight of it's passing,
For its Freedom,
Is a gift enough for me.
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I found it:

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Unconditionally So

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What is it that we want exactly? What is the core of our want? What created it like a flame upon wood? What lit that spark? Some say as a child that they want love but, as we grow older, the truth of love that resides in our hearts soon becomes over shadowed with the idea of love rattling around in our heads. Why must this be? As children our knowing was deep and unjaded but as we grow, forming the thick callous of cynical rigidity that adult life has to offer, it becomes tainted and twisted. It is either a thing that is so magnificent that in order for it to grace our hearts the heavens would have to open up and deliver that one true love on a silver platter, or, it is a figment of fanciful fairytale nonsense caused by mere chemical reaction. As children we love every living thing but that soul deep knowing gets clouded when we are taught hate, despare, selfishness, greed, and all the other states of being that reside in the shadows of life.

However, I can see there is a purpose for it all, even when we say their is none. We come back with re-affirmations about love and it fills us with joy, strength, and a new understanding that really protects us from the slithering leaches of negativity. So, this means this negatively serves a purpose? These trials and tribulations all have a point, even if we refuse to see them? Interesting how bouncing back from the veil of night is actually more an act of growth than mere survival. As in a song by Enya said, "you know love is with you when you rise, for night and day belong to Love." Interesting indeed.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

December 2, 2015

Star Lit Souls We Are

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One of the hardest things to overcome is the fear of the unknown. Like a viperous snake it wraps around your sense of adventure and chokes it with the biting stings of "what if" and "I don't know". The creeping spider of the shadow of doubt starts to solidify as one big, red-eyed arachnid that settles its self on your stomach as it stirs and stings your nerves. When does it stop? When does this hellish torture of future ignorance stop? When does the breath of life come in and offer us relief?

When we want it. When we say no more. When we decide to cut the bonds us to a chair with the words of wisdom woven from the lips of hope its self. We have the power to look fear in the face and say, "I don't hate you, I Love you," and watch as every inch of it shrinks and shrivels in pure disgust as it gets replaced with the very reflection of a stronger us. Then we look down to see this fear shriveled into a small bead for us to string tightly to the lace of accomplishments we carry proudly around our necks, right along with the others.

It is a reminder of the things we've overcome and a lesson very well learned, for we still breathe and that fear helped us become stronger. Rejoice.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~