February 27, 2016

Rush

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There are moments,
So few in breath,
And so little in taste,
That pass leaving me,
Caving for more.

Passion pits,
Of cherries I,
Didn't even taste,
Roll around like,
A bit of gold in my mouth,
Waiting to be grace,
To the earth whence it came.

My smile is a gift,
You see,
To life and the world,
To show it,
I love it so deeply.

February 24, 2016

Get It Back

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There is far too much time waisted on over thinking and worry. It turns people into snakes wrapping around loved ones for fear of ever letting go. This is no way to live. The ones who try to hold fast and tight to the sand from their hour glass loose more than a person who carefully and calmly excepts that things change. Every one is in such a hurry to keep something or to "not loose", but man, they've already lost the point. There is a fine line between living life to the fullest foolishly and foolishly wrapping duty around it making it a constant, never ending cycle of you only giving, never receiving. There has to be a middle to wobble in between comfortably as a top, we just individually have to find it.

February 23, 2016

Broken Fire Scape

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There was never more than one thing rolling around in Miriam's head. Yes she thought of most average day-to-day things, but she always was cycling back in her head to a time when things where a little...different. She always came to the same conclusion after a long day at the craft shop; it would always hit her when she started to lock up and look around at the silent still night that surrounded her. You cant change your past or your face, she would always think when she turned back to gaze at her reflection in the darkened shop glass door. She would trace the edges of her burn on the left half of her face. She would smooth her hand over her scarred eyelid that she could never fully close. She still loved her face and every single thing about it. She looked at it like a test for weaker minded, a test that most would not pass and that fault would lie solely with them.

One night she was closing up shop like usual, and when she turned to have her private look at her face, as she always did, the scar was gone. She frantically felt the smooth, unscarred skin with her hands and was about to feel a feeling of pure joy before she heard her mothers voice eco in her head. Miriam, her mother said in a way that only her lips can say that make her hackles rise at the insult that would follow, you know, there is this great plastic surgeon I know that can take that scar right away and your life will be right back to normal.

"No," Miriam said simply, when her mother started to reply, all Miriam had to do was give her one look.
"Fine," her mother said in a huff, "I don't understand how you can stand the state of yourself. I mean your lips are intact and your eyes are still that lovely ice blue, but its all for nothing with that scar. Who would want you."
"Perhaps, mother, you cant understand it because you would not be able to handle this. You are not strong enough and as far as anyone wanting me, I don't care if nobody wants me, because I do, and that's all that matters."

She looked back at her reflection to see her face as it truly was. Every indent, every bundle of tissue, and every line she moved her hand across was so smooth and soft. She regrets nothing, and loves her face. Not even the woman who birthed her could change that. Besides she knew where her true beauty lies, and it was way more complex than skin deep.

She turned around to see that a vehicle on this still and silent night start to make its way to her shop. She watched it curiously for a few moments until it parked in front of her. A man stepped out holding a box in his hand.
"Hey, are you the woman who owns this shop?" He asked her while staring her straight in the eyes. When she nodded he smiled. "I'm Tomas, we spoke on the phone about my mothers old mirror, I wanted to know if you could replace the glass." She remembered him right away.
"Yes, that is right. You called a couple days ago. I wasn't expecting you till the morning," she said as she shook his hand.
"Well I was around and I had it in my truck already so I thought 'why not'. Where you just closing up?"
"Oh yeah, but its OK, didn't have anything planned today anyway," she turned to unlock the door and looked at his reflection as she spoke, "sorry about the sight, it can be a bit much for some people."
"Oh, no need to apologize for that, that's not what shocked me at all." She was about to open the door but stopped to turn and look at him.
"What did shock you, exactly?" she asked somewhere in between feeling insulted and curious. He looked her in the eyes, and smiled.
"Your eyes, they are quite beautiful." Her brow furrowed.
"They're just blue."
"No," he said, "they are loving, as well as blue." She shook her head and opened the door. Flicking on the lights, she turned to get a better look at her customer. He was very handsome and well toned by what she could tell. he had brown eyes and dark brown hair. what she hadn't noticed before however was the long scar that trailed from under the right side of his lip to go how ever further down, beneath his black T-shirt. He smiled at her when she looked him over, and when she noticed he was, she looked away instantly.
"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to stare."
"Its alright," he said, "I don't mind it. Plus your stare is not like the others."
"What is that supposed to mean," she said when she turned to look at the box in his hands. He walked over to her and handed her the box.
"What I mean is," he said still holding the box as she did, "you don't see the scar on the person, you see the person behind the scar."
"And how do you know that," she asked staring up at his eyes this time. He smiled again as he looked down at her.
"I know that because there, even now, is no judgement or fear behind them. Believe me, I can tell, i can always tell." She gave way to a smile that reached the very eyes he couldn't stop looking into.

Excite

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Push me to the Brink,
Of my feeble understanding,
Then send me sweet gentile reminders,
Of the little things we cherish.

Blow my mind,
With the images of what is,
What has been,
What will be,
And what is forever possible.

Challenge me,
To look beyond,
The sometimes fruitless ventures,
Of a girls sad, cynical mind,
And give me hope to see again.

Open my eyes, heart, and mind,
With Just enough mystery,
To have enough wonder,
To question why,

For my eyes are weary,
Of this cold imitated light,
That surrounds like,
A Florescent hell.

February 22, 2016

She Danced

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She danced,
Moving like a dove,
On the smooth shining floor.

There was no stopping her,
But her eyes,
They hung heavy.

Eyes turned from her,
Some held their hearts,
Too close.

Others just turned away,
Not wishing for her view,
To wrapped up in their own.

When she fell,
Some laughed,
Some helped for pride,

One grabbed her hand,
Looking it over,
Asking with his voice and eyes,
If she was alright.

There are those who actually care about us for who we are and make it so what we feel becomes their concern. Some we can see, but others we cannot because we are so busy waiting for someone to look at us. So just dance, and be free, be you. What you recieve may be what yu want but also what you need.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

February 20, 2016

The Wind

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The wind it knows,
Where the darkness grows.
It sores with a warning,
To Stay inside till Morning.

The wind, if you believe,
Can, in fact, breathe,
New life into a heart,
That craved breath from the start.

The wind, it whispers,
Through the trees, its keepers,
To tell stories to all,
All those who can hear the call.

The wind it flows,
Through my hair and my clothes,
As I greet the coming storm,
Arms open in bird form.

February 18, 2016

Clear Vision Part 2

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I could take a look around myself and see that there is a lot more but, how will I see what is really important? When will I see what is important and meaningful? The only answer I could glean from my life is that nothing ever comes before it's time. You can be staring at a spot you always walk by in your daily routine, and have this feeling that there is more to this spot, but easily shrug it off and go about your business until that moment you are hitting hard times and decide to sit on that spot and feel something like a rock poke you, realizing upon investigation that there had always been gold there waiting for you, always drawing your gaze but never fully seen until you where driven by those times of hardship and experience.

No matter how smart a person is or how cautious, things happen. We can, however, be damn sure that there is a reason for what pain we go through, even if we never see it. There are, amazingly, those moments when you go through something for so long and then when the change happens, the plan unfolds before your very eyes, the part you can understand, and it comes in the form of memories, flashbacks, pictures, movies, phrases, and feelings. And its beautiful; oh it is so beautiful. Moments like these it goes beyond understanding the concept, and knowing that things happen for a reason, but grounds you in a realization of how much of a physical actualization that is in your own life. It is more of that Unharnessable Magic at work.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

Clear Vision

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Some times we hold things that obstruct our path and our view of the world. we do this out of so many reasons, the most common it to keep ourselves buried in our comfort zone. As any student of life learns, comfort zones can become dangerous when lingered inside. It's kind of like a big blanket that just feeds on our breath until we can breathe no more and are forced out of it by our instinct to survive. often times more than not, people take this too far and indulge in the well known form of escapism called "willful ignorance". This, i am most certain is an epidemic. it is the equivalent to turning away from a person that is lying on the floor with a fatal wound, or covering your ears when someone screams for help against an attacker.

However, instead of hiding from our problems, there are those moments of victory when we deal with them in a good way. When that happens, we see things fall into place and realize that what ever we changed, was for the better completely. I feel that comfort zones are great for nurturing a new understanding of life, but they are not to be lingered in or we get stunted in our understanding, thusly not growing at all.

The goal is always to grow and learn. The reason for this is because, yes it's the better thing to do, but it is also more enjoyable. if there was a finality to all our understanding of the world that we have mastered all that there is to know, how boring would that be? There would be no mystery or wonder incorperated in our day to day lives and all the joy from the finding out what we don't know would be sucked from our lives. that is definitly no way to live. I am glad that i don't know everything that there is to know on everything because i feel like i'm getting better, wiser, and it helps eliviate the frigid manotony of the every day. That is what i will always hold with a smile, that there is always more.

February 12, 2016

Muse Me Away

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I've been thinking of calling apart...
The problem is, well,
Where to start?

I could just loose it,
Loosen the grip,
Out burst in a fit.

I could let it go,
In the sight of many,
Just a stones throw.

I could embellish the walls,
With the insanity,
Of my discontented scrawls.

I could destroy it all,
And lay waste too the,
Over priced goods at the mall.

I could let the words fly,
And make some one feel,
Like their heart was gonna die.

No.
I cap that anger,
Strap down that weakness,
And bear all my pain,
In sheer guarded silence,
And I wait.

February 9, 2016

Be

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One of the most purely frustrating things on the face of the earth is, seeing something more, something so profound in a person, that always resigns themselves to biting their tongue and giving way to the mediocre, clich├ęd dribble born from an outside influence. It kills me sometimes because i see more than just a potential to do great things; its more like one beholding a golden swan in their sights and it covering its eyes because they are not like all the others.

To those people I want to say, "Drop every ounce of the outsider's ideals as to how you should be and embrace that life in your heart, emerse yourself in that life that burns the passionless with its all embracing light. Open out your arms and feel your true self fly free from the illusionous bonds you wrap around your wrists. All these fears and self doubts are yours to alleviate if you were to but choose upon a more truthful state of being. Let not the venomous viper's tongue of the witless, passionless, sinical, elitist, power hungry, scared mongrels dissuade you from you divine right to be the most natural state of you and love yourself enough to enjoy it. Your heart gives purposeful direction, where as their wonton greed and and fleeting instant gratification nearly drowns them in the inky, black tar their cold object-obtaining logic would have them breathe in."

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

February 8, 2016

Monsters

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Often times I take great comfort in not knowing everything, but when the sudden desire strikes me to know, its a battle of destressing and becoming overwhelmed. I fight this all the time, and become wiser for it, but if I don't fight I know I will become nothing more than the lesser fears constructed by my mind; and existence that doesn't do well to acknowledge the spirit of my life. So naturally, I keep my sword of heart and armor of love close to my banner of hope and my spear of honor.