March 22, 2016

You're Beautiful

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It is always interesting to come across a person that just beams their uniqueness. In that small moment, you can see them in all their ethereal beauty smiling back at you through eyes that serve as windows they chose to look out of, at you. Such moments are precious and far too rare. Most people cloud their beauty with doubts and facades that tear their understanding of themselves to even smaller shreds than before. Most times once you look, once you notice this person in all their true splendor, they shrink away, afraid of the feeling of another seeing them for who they really are. Fear of scrutiny is the great culprit. It lies in every crevice of every scar produced from cruel words of another. It is only when we choose to look at ourselves without the shades of others clouding our judgement, that we start to truly shine. Hiding in the darkened thoughts of those darkened themselves breeds room for vicious cycles and actions taken out of hurt. Break the cycle, and the next time you look into a mirror, look into your eyes and see the beauty that someone out their craves to hold, because there is always at least someone other than yourself. Always.

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

March 15, 2016

What Do you Miss Most?

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I think what I miss most,
Was the feel of his hands.
Strong hands that seemed,
To be also so gentile.

I think i miss most,
Was the touch of his lips,
On my heart when i made him,
Burst into laughter.

I think I miss the most,
Was the way his eyes looked,
Their gaze seeing something,
Always seeing what no other could.

I think I miss,
The unwavering comfort,
In his embrace,
Oh that contentment.

His eyes, those I miss,
Not the color,
But what lied beneath,
There was a whole world,
A whole beautiful world,
Waiting for me to see, feel it.

What I miss most is,
No longer mine to miss.
Though, I do with all my heart,
Miss more.

The thing that I love about poetry, is that it has always been my way to express how I feel with just enough that who ever reads it, gets the more important flavor of an experience, than the course texture of drama.

~Thoughts of a dreamer~

March 14, 2016

It Is In Our Sights...

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After coming down from my recent heigh of being wanted, I realized with a great bitterness, lurch of sadness, and hope, that peoples eye's, when in relation to their heart, cannot see. You can express every auditory assurence of ones passionate, sincere love and hope for the future, but the lack of envisionment chokes the sweet nothings. What does tell the truth so well, is the sensations and the undeniable yearning and urginges for one reaching out to touch another for reasons not known. There are also the heart palpitory reflections that we face when that one is ever on the mind. However, the significant one to our romantically inclined selves can hold the stars and still think themselves but a simple grain of sand. It is sad, and it hurts, but the one thing they will learn in time is that as sweet as it is to fervently love another, it is never complete without loving oneself, for without that, how can the love you express truly come from within?

~Thoughts of a Dreamer~

March 6, 2016

The Beauty of Life

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One thing that has been brought to my attention as of late is that one can get used to being alone. Now it will be so bemoaned by the one, that there is a dramatic yearning and a whole perfect fantasy of the former state of being, but, as always, the fantasy is never the same as the real thing. It is an interesting thing to behold, in all of its splendor, the person who constantly dreams of no longer being lonely, start to break from that state they are so used to and then stumble, crumble, and fall. The thoughts that linger float by as, this is not at all what I had expected, and well, it never is.

Things we people go through are so much harder and so much more intricately different than imagined. Of course, with everything in life, there is that one small moment where we go through something that we only dreamed or thought about and say, "yep, that was exactly how I imagined it would be," and to be honest, those moments can be rather boring. The interesting moments come when you are in the thick of a new experience and you are faced with the ideals of the ones closest to you, the ideals of society, the ideals of your own ignorant development, and the those feelings that are described as your heart and your gut telling you the steps that you are supposed to take. Those moments are key because you have to choose; for the betterment of ones advancement, you have to choose.

So here is, the moment that you have to choose a way to be, a way to think, and a way to react on a subject and experience that you realize with great immensity that you have no foundational understanding of, except what you have see and what you have imagined. This is life at its finest, but it is so hard to realize it. Most times, people miss this because it is so hard to pull back from the craze of one's life to see what exactly is going on in it. Yes, somewhere in the back of their mind there is a lingering thought, but it is rarely exciting enough to draw ones attention.

Where would yo go from there, though? What should you follow? Would you go for the simpler route and follow someone elses ideas, try to string together some of your own to help you in this experience your depth know not, or take a leap of faith with a heart/gut instinct with the vast insecurity of not knowing the outcome beyond that of which your mind can imagine? This is tough, but learning is seldom without taxation of our logic, emotions, and perceptions. The best one could do, I feel, is try to find some glimmer of excitement and adventure in the messes, old and new, that life gives us to sort though. We get to keep stuff, clean out other stuff, and ultimately learn about what it is exactly that we are going though, it would just be wise to make it more than just trials and tribulations to out weary minds and hearts.

March 2, 2016

The Adventurer's Heart

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What is it to crave somebody? What is it to want them close and feel their presence? What is it to long for someone that you know is not yet there by your side? What is it to have the deepest urge to stretch ones hand out and feel their warmth? What is it to have the most pressing need to hear their voice and see the light in their eyes as they speak to to you on their day?

To go further, what is it to feel? What is it to try not to at the same time so that the feeling doesn't consume you completely only to have it taken away, leaving you cold and bare? how do you find that balance, how do you know its real, how do you express without seeming odd or too emotional? How do you express your heart but not let it envelope you completely? How does logic fit into that situation? How does one find the middle between pretending not to care at all and letting that care flow overly so? How do you find the peace from the mire of your mind?

With every single thing that is new, you cant expect one to get it right right off. There is just no way. Stories and experiences can be shared but there will always be a degree unfathomable until the situation unique to that person or persons presents itself.

There is gonna be frustration and confusion and embarrassment and awkward moments of silence, but there will also laughter and understanding and serious moments where the rest of the cluttering bullshit doesn't matter. Its an adventure, a test, and experience wrapped up in a stumling bumbling mess of perspective and understanding constantly being reshaped. If we look to hard, its seemingly not worth it; however, if we pull back and look at the big picture, its so beautiful.